


Swan Zero Point Five

by EndlessPaine



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Curse, F/F, F/M, Gen, Gender or Sex Swap, M/M, Multiships, Out of Character, The Enchanted Forest, crackships, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-16 11:46:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3487109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndlessPaine/pseuds/EndlessPaine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While training in the forest, Emma and her father, David, fall into some haunted springs. Now, Emma is cursed with going back and forth from being a woman to being a man. Her father, on the other hand, deals with turning into a jackass. What's worse is David has promised his first son's hand in marriage to an old friend's daughter, but he never got a son before Snow ran away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Enter Emma, Man or Woman?

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have been trying to come up with something that is just plain fun to write for when I am having writer’s block on my main story, A Savior Too Late, and this came to me while my girlfriend and I were watching a particular anime. Kudos to you if you realize which one it is. It’s not really that hard to figure out if you’re an avid anime viewer. For the most part, this fic will not follow any particular storyline. It is set in the Enchanted Forest and it’s completely AU. You will also notice that a lot of characters will be OOC. Also, I do not consider this to be a crossover since no characters from said anime will make an appearance. It is solely based off the idea and concept of that anime. Anyways, remember, this is not intended to be a serious fanfic. It’s all just for shits and giggles. You don’t have to read it if it’s not your cup of tea, but if you do, let me know what you think. Let the hilarity ensue!

Frigid cold rain pelted the cobblestone ground that the man’s bare feet walked up.  He cringed every time the chestnut-coated mule trotting next to him stepped in a puddle, effectively splashing him with more cold water. The jackass, which had been the reason he was missing his boots in the first place, would not even let him ride atop its back. There was extra space in the chest of his leather cuirass, but the bands around his shoulders and arms were a bit too snug making it quite uncomfortable.  Thankfully, his soaked scraggly blonde hair was pulled back into a low pony-tail, or else it would all be annoyingly stuck to his face.

The damned mule stomped into another shallow pool of water, which the blonde man assumed was intentional.  He balled his hand into a fist and smashed it into the animal’s ribs while shouting, “God damn it, Pops!  Stop being so annoying!  This is all your fault!”  Karma bit him in the ass when the steed reared onto its hind legs with a loud neigh before bringing its front legs down on top of the blonde.  The horse’s hooves slammed the man into the ground before stomping all over him comically.  The scene caught the attention of those who dared to go out in this storm.  Some stood alarmed while others became quite amused.  When the mule finished its assault, it made an almost human grunt and tilted its nose up proudly before continuing to walk on.  The barefoot man grumbled, rubbing a large lump on his head.  He got up and took off after the beast, yelling, “I’ll get you back for that, old man!”  Bystanders, who were still left questioning exactly what happened, just blinked and continued on with their business.

* * *

Henry Mills scratched some of the grey hair on the side of his head before sipping his wine.  It was a nice and quiet evening, despite the storm outside, to be spending time with his two daughters, Regina and Zelena.  Well, Zelena was not biologically his own child.  She was actually the daughter of his deceased wife, Cora, from a previous affair, but he still loved and treated her as if she were his own flesh and blood. For this, he was practically disowned by the rest of his family, but he didn’t care.  Henry adored his daughters.

The three of them sat at a long dining table topped with elegant candles, enjoying their dinner quietly.  Fortunately, Henry managed to retain some of his own wealth before the rest of his family broke off from him.  However, he did not have a son to leave it all to when he died.  Of course he could leave it to his girls, but in this day and age, society would not take kindly to women with money and power.  Henry didn’t agree with it, but he also didn’t want any scorn to come upon his two daughters.  Thankfully, an old friend owed him a favor.  That favor was his friend’s first son’s hand in marriage to whichever daughter, but it had to be the girls’ decision as to which one would be wed.

Regina went to take another bite of her meal before a loud knock at the enormous doors of the entrance of the Mills manor interrupted her.  She set her fork down and glanced towards her father.  “Are we expecting guests, Daddy?” she asked sweetly.

Henry wiped his mouth with a white cloth and pushed his plate forward, shaking his head.  “No, I don’t believe so, sweetheart,” he replied, pushing back his seat to rise from it.

“Probably just some peasant beggars looking for shelter from the rain,” Zelena quipped, rolling her eyes as she prodded her food.  As usual, the picky eater had barely consumed any of her dinner.  She didn’t really care for Regina’s cooking, unlike most others who enjoyed it very much. 

“Now, now, Zelena,” Henry chided, “Not everyone can be as fortunate as us.”  He looked towards the door and said, “I’ll go see who it is.”

“It’s alright, Daddy,” Regina stopped him, getting up from her chair, “I’ll go greet them.  You sit and eat.”  The brunette smiled at her father warmly.  She adored her father because he was such a kind, gentle, and understanding man.  Her mother would have probably said that he did nothing but spoil the two girls, but Regina knew that was not the case.

“Thank you, honey,” Henry responded, giving her a nod of agreement, before returning to his seat.

Whipping her long braid from shoulder to her back, Regina waltzed quickly to the front entrance, unhinging the long wooden bar between the two doors that kept them locked in place.  After she swung the tall red door open, Regina gasped at the sight before her.  A blonde man, whose eyes were a cross between green and blue, and a mule stood there, soaked head to toe.  The man in leather armor looked generally displeased, though Regina could understand why when she noticed he had nothing to protect his feet.  Maybe Zelena was right about peasants.  “Uhh…may I help you?” she inquired politely.

“Is this the residence of Henry Mills?” the blonde asked with a disgruntled tone, frowning. 

“It is,” Regina replied as her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.  Her arms crossed over her chest.  How did this young man know her father?  He certainly did not look like someone of the same status. 

“Can you tell him that my dad, James…or David…or whichever, is here to see him?” the blonde man groaned.

Regina turned back to yell towards the dining room, “Father!  Do you know a James or David?”

The quick and heavy footsteps of Henry raced to the front door.  “Charming?!” he panted excitedly, out of breath from his little sprint.  The older man blinked twice when he saw only a mule and younger gentleman standing in the doorway.  “You’re not Charming,” he stated to the blonde, “Who are you?”

“Emma Swan,” the drenched man replied dryly.

One of Regina’s brows quirked and she said, “Emma?  That’s a female name.”

“Yeah, my jackass father can explain,” he answered, using a thumb to point to the mule next to him.

Henry tilted his head to the side as his gaze turned towards the animal and then he inhaled sharply.  “Oh no!” he wept, suddenly clinging to the beasts neck, hugging tightly.  “How did this happen, my friend?!” Henry cried as if the animal could speak back, “Did you incur the wrath of a witch of the wilds?  You were always good at angering women.”  He stepped back and patted the jackass’s head lightly, his tears gone and a bright smile across his face.  “It’s ok, my Charming friend.  We have horse stables and we will take care of you and make you comfortable for the rest of your days.”

Zelena had walked up a few moments ago and was trying to hold in laughter from the sight of the whole situation.  She looked at her sister and said with an accent, “Oh dear, it looks like Daddy is taking in another peasant and their pet.”

“Actually, I wish this was done by a witch,” the blonde man interrupted, “Also, Pops is not stuck in this form.”  Emma was about to explain their situation before a harsh sneeze snuck up on him. 

“Oh my,” Henry spoke before grabbing Emma’s arm, pulling the blonde inside, “Let’s get you two in and dried off before you get sick.”

“Daddy, you’re going bring a mule into our home?” Zelena asked in shock and disgust.

“It will be fine, dear,” Henry replied, “Besides, we need to figure out how to turn him back into a human.”

“I already know how,” Emma began to explain; however, he was yet again interrupted, this time by his own roaring stomach.  He frowned and put a gloved hand over his abdomen.

“Come,” Regina put a hand on the blonde’s shoulder, “We were just in the middle of dinner.  We have plenty.”  When the redhead rolled her eyes and scoffed, Regina shot her a scathing glare.

* * *

Once she finished pouring pales of hot water in the bath tub, Regina returned to the dining room to see the blonde with his pair of dirty bare feet propped up on the dining table, picking his teeth with the sharp end of a bone. The mule had since passed out on its side in a not so peaceful manner, snoring loudly.   “Excuse me!” she exclaimed, marching over to him, “Is that any way to show appreciation for taking you into our home?”  The brunette quickly shoved his feet off the table, her nose scrunched up in disgust.

“Hey!” Emma snapped, scowling at the brunette, “Geez, all you had to do was ask.”

“You think just because you’re a man and I’m a woman that I have to ask _anything_ of _you_?” Regina spat.

“W-what?” the blonde stuttered, eyes wide, “N-no!  How did you even get from point A to point B with that?!  I didn’t mean it like that!”  Emma didn’t believe in such gender roles, and for good reason.

“Regina, please calm down, honey,” Henry pleaded, “You’re going to have to start getting along with each other.  David and Emma will be staying here for a while.”

Zelena, who had exited the kitchen with a tea kettle full of hot water, perked up to this revelation, a shocked expression across her features.  “What?!  Why?”

Henry smiled to both of his girls and laughed hesitantly.  He knew he was about to get fried by the both of them.  “Well, one of you is going to be betrothed to this man,” he explained, rubbing the back of his head, laughing nervously.

The bone Emma was using toppled to the ground while his jaw remained agape.  He looked over to Regina’s father, one eye twitching.  “They wha-?” was all he managed to get out before falling out of his chair, though not unconscious.

Not realizing she was standing over the sleeping mule, Zelena lost her grip on the kettle.  The scalding water splashed all over the beast.  With a sudden puff of white smoke, the jackass transformed back into a man.  The redhead let out a loud shrill that shattered the nearest wine glass.  Zelena clasped a hand over her mouth and shuffled backwards, falling onto her bum.

“Agh, that was hot!” David whined loudly, “But thanks for changing me back.”  He figured the change would shock everyone, but he thought they would have moved on from that by now.  Yet, they were all still staring in bewilderment.  Then, David looked at his body to realize he was stark ass naked.  With comically wide eyes, he let out a squeak before tearing the cloth from atop the table and covering himself with it.  It was good thing he did it fast enough as to not cause every dish and glass to smash to the floor.

Emma, still shocked by the news of betrothal, pushed up from the floor.  “I’m going to take that bath now!” he announced before bolting off.

“Daddy!” Regina scolded, “You promised our hands in marriage before consulting us first?!”

“Hehe,” Henry let out while twiddling his thumbs, “Well, you see, David and I made the promise long before you girls were born.”

“Oh, this cannot be happening,” Zelena groaned.

“It will all be fine,” their father reassured, “Besides, you two get to choose who will marry him.”  Henry beamed a bright smile as if giving them a choice made everything alright.

Zelena quickly pressed her index finger to the tip of her nose.  “Not me!  I refuse to marry a peasant.”

“We aren’t peasants!” David defended his pride, “We are warriors!”

This caused Henry to let out a bellowing laugh.  “Hah!  Sure you are, Charming,” he cackled, “Alright.  Regina it is then.”

“But Daddy!” Regina retorted.  She was suddenly furious due to the fact that no one was giving her a choice in the matter.

* * *

Emma lowered his body into the warm water of the bath.  An abrupt cloud of white smoke engulfed him, and when it dissipated, _he_ became a _she_.  “Ah,” she purred in a more feminine voice, “Back to normal.”  The blonde shut her eyes, sighing in content as she tilted her head back to rest it on the edge of the tub.  It felt so nice not to be freezing cold anymore that she quickly lost track of how long she sat there. 

Her eyes flew open when she heard footsteps approaching the bathing chamber.  Emma frantically leapt up from the water, stumbling out of the tub.  She needed to find something to cover up with, like yesterday.  Everyone, besides her father, thought she was a man.  It would be terribly awkward if they found out the truth, especially since Henry had revealed she was supposed to marry one of his daughters.  Emma didn’t think it would fly too well with them if they knew she were really a woman.  Hell, the idea of being forced into a marriage did not settle well with her in the first place.  One wrong step and Emma lost her footing to the slick floor, landing on her rear end with an, “Oof!”

Regina had assumed she’d given the ass’s son enough time to bathe.  Since he had not returned to spend the rest of the evening with them, she thought maybe Emma had gone to the room Henry offered to get some rest.  She carried her personal toiletries, prepared to take her own relaxing bath.  However, those toiletries hit the floor when Regina opened to the door to the sight before her.  With the thought that somehow a female intruder had snuck into the household, Regina shrieked.  A real Goldie Locks was in their midst.  She reached for the nearest object, which was a heavy book titled Once Upon a Time, and threw it with all her might at the blonde’s head.  “Intruder!” she screamed, “Leave now!”

The leather bound book pegged Emma in the head and she hollered in pain, clutching her head.  Another lump accompanied the one caused by her father.  “What?!  No!  It’s me!  I’m Emma!” the blonde frantically explained, holding her hands up ready to defend herself from any more flying objects.


	2. How It Happened, Enter The Huntsman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! To everyone who has bookmarked, commented, and gave kudos to this story, thank you a million times over! I honestly was not expecting this story to get as much praise as it already has in the first chapter. I really believed it would be shot down and I was not expecting to even write a second chapter to it. You have no idea how thrilled I am that you all like it so far. I will definitely try to keep up on this one, but as I said before, this story is purely just for fun and I’m using it as an outlet for when I am having trouble writing my main SwanQueen story.
> 
> With that in mind, if there is anything you guys want to see happen, please let me know! I can definitely make it happen in this particular fic since it has no strings attached. I am always willing and ready to do some prompts!

With a sly smirk and her hand wrapped tightly around one of Emma’s arms, Regina dragged the blonde, who was donning a black bathrobe, into the sitting room where her father, David, and Zelena were all lazing around.  They were either reading or studying by the hearth.  “Father, I found an intruder in our bathing chambers,” the brunette announced, shoving Emma forward. 

Henry glanced up from his book, a blush quickly running to his cheeks as he slammed the book shut.  “Ah, a beautiful one at that!” he exclaimed with joy.  He rushed to the two of them.  “What is your name, young lady?”

Emma twitched and stepped back, feeling uncomfortable by the sudden closeness of the older man.  “Like I said,” she snipped, glaring at Regina, “I am Emma!”

Regina’s father laughed lightheartedly and said, “That’s impossible, sweetie.  Emma is a man…though he does have a very feminine name.”

Even Regina and Zelena were a bit queasy at the fact their father was attempting to hit on a woman close to their own age, but it hadn’t been the first time.  “Here we go,” Zelena mumbled, not bothering to look up from her book.

David cleared his throat and announced, “Actually, that is Emma.  She’s really a girl.”

Zelena and Henry both dropped their jaws.  Regina quickly let go of the blonde’s arm and blushed heavily.  “What?!” she exclaimed, “How is that possible?!”

“Same way I was cursed,” Emma’s father replied nonchalantly with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Yes, you never did explain how exactly that happened, Charming,” Henry reminded him.

Emma huffed and crossed her arms.  “He’s a moron,” she accused, “That’s how this happened.”

“Hey!” David shot back, obviously offended.

“Ever since my mother ran away, my father has been training me to be a ‘knight’ because he didn’t have a son,” the blonde spat, “And now I see the reason he was so upset about that.  I’m apparently not good enough!”  She smacked David in the back of his head, causing him to flinch.  “So, we were training in the Dark Woods, trying to get stronger.  Well, _someone_ didn’t read up on what to watch out for in that particular forest.  _Apparently_ , in the center of the Dark Woods, there’s a series of haunted springs.  My dear father fell into one and turned into a jackass.  I find it fitting.  So, what does he do?  He kicks me into another spring, and I come out as a man!”  Emma let out a furious growl.

“You mean, you’ve never heard of the haunted springs?” Zelena scoffed, “How unfortunate.  Legend says that thousands of years ago, various people and animals drowned in those springs.  Whichever spring you fall in, you’re cursed to turn into whatever drowned in that spring whenever you’re splashed with cold water.  The only way to turn back is to be doused with hot water.”

Regina started to giggle, but it turned into a full blown laugh, earning her strange looks.  When she realized she was being stared at like a crazy person, the brunette stopped.  “What?” she questioned, “Don’t you understand what this means?”  Everyone shook their heads.  “It means that I don’t have to marry anyone because this man doesn’t have a son,” she explained, relief in her tone.

Panic flooded Henry’s features when he figured out this meant he didn’t have an heir.  Then an idea lit up in his head like a light bulb.  “Wait!  Emma can stay as a man, right?” he inquired, “So that she…er…he can marry my Regina!”

“Hell no!” Emma rejected the idea immediately, her forehead wrinkled with disbelief.

“Daddy!” Regina snapped, “I don’t need to marry anyone to be the heir to your fortune!  Especially not someone like… Emma.”

The blonde opened her mouth, suddenly feeling offended.  “Excuse me?  What the hell makes you think I even want to marry an ugly and rude girl like _you_?”

Regina’s eyes grew wide.  No one had every spoken to her like that in her life.  Her nostrils flared and her teeth showed as she grabbed the collar of Emma’s bathrobe before she began to glow purple.  Before anyone could stop her, Emma was launched off with a blast of magic.  The blonde crashed clear through a stone wall causing grey dust to come up from the destruction.  Regina harrumphed, crossing her arms and throwing her nose into the air.  “Jerk,” she spat.

“Whoa!” David exclaimed, “You’re a magic user!  Emma is too!  You will be perfect for each other.”  He ran over to the hole in the wall and prodded his daughter in her side with his boot.  “From now on, you will speak to your fiancé with respect!”

Emma groaned and threw her middle finger up, mumbling, “Screw you…” 

* * *

The next morning came early, especially for Emma, who had spent most of the night repairing the giant hole in Mr. Mills’ wall.  Of course she didn’t feel it was her place to fix it since it was Regina who sent her through it, but her father’s reasoning was that she shouldn’t have set her future wife off.  Henry’s excuse was that she was to be the ‘man of the house’ one day and would end up doing things like this anyways, so she had better get used to it early.  Emma thought it was bullshit.  She wasn’t even a man, not really.

She awoke to a cold splash of water over her head and the sound that came from her mouth would have been high pitched had her vocal chords not changed in an instant.  “What the hell?!” she bellowed out, scowling at the assailant, David. 

“Time to get up, son,” David chimed cheerfully.

Emma clenched a fist, gritting her teeth, fighting the urge to punch her father square in the face.  “What’s the big idea, Pops?  It’s not like we’re training!  Why do we have to be up so early?  And I’m not your son!  I’m your freakin’ daughter!”  Of course the last statement sounded hilarious coming from her deep male voice.

“You need to start fulfilling your new duties as Regina’s fiancé,” David explained, a smug look on his face, “You’re going to escort the nice girl to her tutoring session.  Also, starting tomorrow, you will be joining her in those sessions.”

“Hah!” the blonde snorted, “Nice girl?  You can’t be serious about all this.  For one, she’s not nice.  Far from it, actually.  She tried to kill me!  And second of all, I’m being forced to marry a crazy woman and now I’m being forced to go to school, too?!”

“A good education is necessary,” David continued with arms crossed, “And she is nice.  She was just showing affection.  Besides, you shouldn’t have provoked her.”  After Emma let out a long agonizing sound of displeasure, he pulled her up.  “Now get dressed and be nice.”

Once her annoying father had finally left, Emma began getting dressed.  It looked like today would be a boy day since she was being rushed and would hardly have time to heat up some water.  She threw on a pair of loose fitting navy blue cotton pants and red leather vest that fit snug to her torso.  The vest was only something Emma wore when she was in male form.  She left her muscular and toned arms bare, aside from some brown leather bracers on her forearms.  After she slipped into a pair of black boots and pulled her hair back, Emma was ready to head out.

The blonde made her way to Regina’s room and knocked gently on the door.  She was certainly not looking forward to this.  Emma didn’t want to forgive her father for all the shit he got them both into, but she knew she couldn’t blame him.  After her mother vanished from their lives, David went a little bit nuts.

“Come in,” Regina called out softly.  She was expecting anyone else other than the person who stepped through the doorway.  Regina caught the reflection of the blonde masculine figure in one of the many mirrors sitting in front of her.  Her gentle expression hardened as she finished braiding her long raven hair. 

“Wow,” Emma spoke softly, taking in the view of the room.  There were mirrors on every wall as if Regina had a slight obsession.  “Looks like someone is a bit obsessed with themselves,” she commented, not really caring whether it was rude or not.

“Can I help you, Miss Swan?” the brunette quipped before standing and turning around.  Regina sported a baby blue corduroy jacket that came down longer in the back than it did in the front.  The jacket had five buttons of matching color just beneath her chest and a popped collar that sprout up from where the buttons lay.  Her legs, which even Emma could not deny were a nice shape, were covered by a pair of tight fitting tan cloth pants.  She wore knee high dark brown leather boots that zipped up on the sides.  “Or should I call you Mister Swan?” she queried due to Emma’s current state.

The blonde cocked her head and rolled her eyes before placing her hand on a hip.  The feminine pose did not do Emma’s male body any justice.  “Emma will be just fine,” she replied with an annoyed sigh, “I have to walk you to class, apparently.”  She took in the other woman’s appearance, scanning her from head to toe, trying not to appear as if she were checking Regina out.  “Planning to go on an adventure?” Emma asked with a quirked brow.

“I am going riding after my tutoring session,” Regina replied, dark eyes following the movement of the blonde’s.  “Shall I write out my weekly schedule since you’re apparently my new babysitter?” she jeered.

“Sorry I asked,” Emma feigned an apology before continuing with, “Let’s just get this over with…quickly.”

Regina gave a curt nod before grabbing some leather gloves that she would need for later and walked out with Emma following close behind.  They only made it about five feet out of the front door before the pair was interrupted in their journey.  A man dressed in a complete set of leather armor stood in their path.  He was very handsome in the face donning a short, but scruffy beard and mustache.  His curly hair was a medium shade of brown and cut short.  The man’s dark blue eyes peered at Regina with adoration.  In his hands, he held a large bouquet of red roses.

“Regina Mills,” he spoke with a deep accented voice.  The man dropped down to both knees before Regina, regardless of whether the ground was still muddy due to the previous night’s rain.  “Please, accept this gift as a token of my love for you,” he begged, shoving the flowers towards her.

“Huntsman, for the thousandth time, no!” Regina yelled out in frustration.  For once, she would love to go through a day without this idiot, among others, throwing themselves at her.  She began to walk around him, but the man grabbed her wrist to stop her.

“I understand, my love,” the Huntsman remarked as he rose to his feet, “You love me so much that it hurts.  One day it won’t hurt anymore, and we can love each other forever.”

“Graham!” she shouted, a vein beginning to pop up on her forehead, “The answer will always be no!”

“You’re only saying that because you want to spare me the pain, but I assure you, Regina Mills, I can take it,” Graham pleaded.

“Hey, asshole!” Emma stepped in, placing a firm hand on the Huntsman’s chest, giving him a push back, “The lady would appreciate it if you would leave her the hell alone.”

Regina held a hand up to Emma and gave a threatening glare to the blonde.  “Mis-…Mister Swan,” she began, having enough respect to not out Emma’s little secret, “I am perfectly capable of handling myself.”

“Just who the hell are you?” Graham questioned the blonde, his face scrunched up angrily.

A smug grin swept over Emma’s lips and she removed her hand from Graham’s chest.  She was about to piss them both off, but she didn’t care because she was about to get revenge on Regina for her little stunt from last night.  Emma slinked one arm around the brunette’s waist and pulled her close so that their hips were touching.  “I am her fiancé,” she announced proudly. 

Unbeknownst to the party of three, David had been watching from a nearby bench.  Internally, he screamed like a little girl with joy.  Emma had announced it, which to him, made it official.  They would never have to live another day without money or food.


	3. Emma vs. Graham, The Battle For Regina?

Bystanders stopped whatever activities they had been up to at the announcement by the man with long blonde curly locks.  It was shocking for most since the House of Mills was well known within the town.  Some people whispered back and forth, "One of the Mills' girls is to be betrothed?" along with, "It's about time."   
  
The most shocked of them all of course was Graham, the Huntsman. Unbeknownst to him, practically everyone in town knew he hadn't an inkling of a chance with Regina Mills, regardless of what he actually thought.    
  
"You-You're what?!" Graham cried out with the need for clarification.   
  
"You heard me, hunting boy," Emma replied with a smug grin.   
  
Regina's heart was about to jump from her throat as an unnatural shade of red painted over her face. With the declaration of betrothal, Regina shoved away from the blonde before a loud smack landed on Emma's face so hard, it knocked the blonde off her feet.    
  
"Agh!" Emma jumped back, landing skillfully on her feet.  She shot a glare to the brunette woman, knowing her hand had been full of magic when it impacted her cheek.  "What the hell is your problem, you evil woman?!"  
  
Immediately upon the insult, David had appeared with the haste of lightning, elbow striking his daughter/son on the top of the head.  "You take that back and be kind to your fiancé!"  
  
"Ow!  Damnit, Pops!" Emma grimaced, crouching low to the ground, hands over the growing lump on her head.    
  
Graham stepped forward and push David back by the shoulder.  "Stay out of this, old man!" he ordered, "This is between me and this man who seeks to steal my Regina away from me!"  
  
Emma's father looked completely dumbfounded by the accusations of his age.  He was about to say something, Regina intervened.   
  
"For your information, I belong to no one!" she shouted.   
  
"No worries, my love," Graham shushed her, "I will handle this."  He turned to Emma and drew a sword, pointing it down at the blonde.  "Let me explain something to you, peasant!  The only ones worthy of Regina's heart are those who can defeat her in battle!"  This had been a ridiculous rule the Huntsman had declared long ago, even though he had yet to accomplish such a feat.   
  
Regina just sighed and rubbed her temples, her frustration growing.  All she wanted was a normal day with no boys or men fawning over her.  Some days, she wished she could switch places with her older sister who got to stay home all day and just take care of the manor.   
  
"Well, that's gonna be kinda difficult," Emma replied, riding to her feet, "You know, seeing as how we are already engaged!"  
  
"Silence, you foolish man!" the Huntsman howled out.  "First, you must defeat me before even thinking to take her on!"  
  
"Hey!  I'm standing right here!" Regina tried to interrupt, but to no avail since Graham just brushed her off.   
  
David watched in growing excitement.  Would his daughter, son...whatever, step in to defend her/his fiancé's honor?  
  
"Fine!  I accept your challenge!"  Emma fired back.  "But even though I'll beat you, go on and take that crazy lady!  I don't care!"  She pointed a finger at Regina, who shot daggers at Emma with her eyes.   
  
David lunged to attack Emma for insulting Regina again, but the blonde side stepped him, grabbing his arm and shoulder, flinging him into the river that bisected the town. Her father instantly turned into a jackass upon impact with the chilly water.  Out of thin air, a wooden sign appeared in the donkey's mouth that read, "Payback will be a bitch!"  
  
"You will regret your words towards the lady!" Graham threatened.   
  
"Fine!  Name the time and place!" Emma snapped back.   
  
"Before sunset in the arena!" Graham answered, pointing with his sword in the direction of the location for the match.  "Don't be late!" he finished before sheathing his sword and marching off.   
  
Regina removed her palm from her face and glared at Emma.  "I hope you're happy now!"  
  
"What?" Emma defended, holding her hands out.  "He was being an asshole."  
  
"And you were acting like a fool!" Regina huffed before turning on a heel, continuing towards where she would be tutored.   
  
"At least I'm not a psycho woman, who freaks out on people with magic!" Emma shot back, quickly catching up to the brunette.  She immediately ate her words as Regina snatched the blonde's whole body with her magic, slinging Emma high into the air with the birds.    
  
"Idiot," Regina growled, walking off nonchalantly.   


* * *

  
The evening came quickly and word got around like a wild fire of the impending battle between Graham, the Huntsman, and the newcomer, something Swan.  For most of the day, Regina had pleaded with Emma and Graham to call off the match to prevent further embarrassment.  However, the both of them were stubborn as bulls and too full of pride to forfeit to one another.   
  
Graham and Emma stood in the middle of the colosseum-like arena with David standing in between them.  Somehow or another, Emma's father would be the referee regardless of whether or not he would show bias towards the blonde.  Henry sat between his two daughters in front row seats.  The older man waved a white flag bearing the symbol of a swan, wearing an overly happy face.  Regina sat with her head held down and one hand over her face, not wanting to believe this was happening right now.  When Zelena pulled out a green flag with Graham's face embroidered on it, Henry turned to her and looked overwhelmingly appalled.   
  
"What?" the redhead queried, blinking twice, "I happen to think he's handsome."  
  
"Traitor!" Henry exclaimed while trying to snatch away Zelena's flag, but she managed to ward him off.   
  
Regina groaned and sunk further into her seat, embarrassed by her family.   
  
David whipped out a hand fashioned megaphone and held it up to his mouth.  "Today, these two gentlemen will be fighting for the heart of one woman, Regina Mills!"  Emma rolled her eyes at the word 'gentlemen'.    
  
Regina's eyes nearly fell out of her skull at the mention of her name.  "He didn't have to say my name out loud!"  
  
"On this side," David shouted, pointing to the dark-haired man, "We have Graham, the Huntsman!"  
  
The majority of the crowd roared loudly for Graham, mostly women being heard.  He held his hands up proudly and waved to them all.   
  
"And on this side," David pointed to Emma, "We have my son, Emma Swan, the White Knight!"  She arched a brow at her father and made a mental note to give him a beating later for coming up with titles in her name without her approval.   
  
The crowd remained mostly silent, aside from Graham's loyalists who booed Emma.  The blonde turned to them and held two middle fingers up.  "Oh yeah? Well screw you, too!"

“Emma, huh?" Graham snickered with a smirk, "That's a very girly name."  
  
The blonde turned back and glared at him.  "Well, I sure as hell don't fight girly!" Emma yelled as she brought a hand full of bright light down.  The ball of magic hit the dirt beneath their feet and plowed through the ground as it surged towards Graham.    
  
David hastily jumped out of the way, narrowly missing the attack whilst throwing Emma an offended look.   
  
The Huntsman jumped backwards into the air, completely a flip, dodging his opponent's attack.  His fans began cheering at his successful evasion.  "Nice try, Swan," he stated before charging at her, "But you cannot defeat the great Huntsman!"  Graham drew his sword and slashed wildly as he approached Emma.   
  
Her green eyes read his every movement.  She suspected the man didn't know just how well trained she was in combat.  Training was all she and her father had ever done ever since her mother vanished.  That was only physical training, though.  She had still yet to master her magic since there was no one around to teach the blonde.  Emma stood her ground, completely still until the last possible second.  As soon as Graham was about to make contact, she took a single step to the side and grabbed his wrist, contorting the man's arm to force the weapon from his hand.  As he began to yelp out in pain, her knee buried into his gut, knocking the air from his lungs.    
  
Graham hit his knees, doubling over while holding his sides, trying to take a breath.  His eyes gave away the fact he was totally not expecting that.  Some of his fangirls in the stands gasped and shrieked with worry.  About half of them saw how easily he had been taken down and suddenly had heart eyes for Emma, completely oblivious to her true identity.    
  
David knelt down in front of the dark haired man and beat his hand into the dirt three times before calling the match.  "And the winner is the White Knight!" he announced triumphantly as he rose to his feet, holding his daughter's hand up in the air.   
  
Regina had eventually come out of hiding and witnessed the entire quick match in amazement.  She had no idea of the extent of neither Emma’s raw magic nor the blonde's physical skill.  She knew that not many people went up against Graham with extensive injury, but to come out completely unscathed?  Well, that was a miracle in itself.  Regina wouldn't have ever admitted it, but the entire reason she wanted the match called off was for Emma's well-being.  She was sure Graham would have taken her down badly, but Regina was taken aback by her betrothed's victory.  Everyone around her, aside from Zelena, was raging in excited cheers.  It was like they had all gotten bored of seeing the Huntsman win all the time.  Now, the people had a new victor to praise.  That's when Regina got an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach.  If they all became heavily approving of Emma Swan, then everyone in town would no doubt be pushing her towards marrying her.  If only they knew the blonde's true identity.   
  
"Ready to get hitched now, son?" David asked happily.   
  
Emma was about to retort, but Graham was struggling to his feet, holding his sore arm.  "I want a rematch," he muttered out.   
  
She just ignored him and spat at her father, "I'm not marrying that ugly, crazy girl!"  
  
Out of nowhere, Regina appeared in front of Emma from a cloud of purple smoke.  Emma was not quite so skilled in her own magic, so it came as a shock to her.  She was also slightly scared by the angry scowl on the other woman's face.  Regina had apparently heard the comment and was done with the rude remarks towards her for the day.    
  
"You are such an idiotic jerk!" Regina roared out before sending Emma flying into the air for a second time today.    
  
"Don't you dare run away from our fight, Emma!" Graham shouted before bolting out of the arena, a plume of dust left in his wake.  He watched as his opponent soared through the sky, heading for the hot springs nearby.   
  
Emma cried out in fright as she went flying.  Her eyes bulged comically as steaming hot water came into her view.  Frantically, she waved her arms and legs in an attempt to steer her body into another direction, but it was futile.  She splashed hard into the spring, feeling her the front of her shirt become instantly tighter.    
  
Panting as he arrived on scene, the Huntsman looked around for any sign of the blonde man, who he wanted to fight again.  However, his attention was immediately caught by an entirely too gorgeous blonde woman emerging from the waters.  Everything seemed to go in slow motion for Graham as Emma slung her wet golden locks back.    
  
"Oh my dear, beautiful lady," he said softly, entering the spring towards her.  "May I have your name?"  
  
"Uhh," Emma let out, holding her arms over her chest since she was not wearing a brazier.  "It's me.  Emma."  
  
"You share the same name as that awful man?" he asked, oblivious the the fact Emma was that same man.   
  
Regina and the others were just now running up to them.   
  
"What?  No!  I am-" Emma started.   
  
"Not to worry, beautiful blonde lady," Graham interrupted, "I care not about your name."  
  
"But I'm-" she tried again.   
  
"It's ok," he stopped her again, "I know it's painful, love for me at first sight, but you'll get used to it."  
  
"Seriously?!"  
  
"I take everything seriously, fair lady."  
  
Regina merely slapped her palm to her forehead.  Graham was not the brightest crayon in the box, but this was just ridiculous.  "Ok, that's enough!" she interjected.  
  
Graham pivoted at the familiar husky voice, becoming very conflicted.  "I am sorry, my dear Regina," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder.  She gave him an eye roll in return.  "But I cannot choose between the two of you.  Would it be alright with you if we could all three be together?"  
  
The brunette fumed before him, eyes lighting up a bright purple before she slammed a fist into his face.  The Huntsman's body slammed right into a tree, throwing splinters everywhere.  "None of us are getting together, you idiot!"  
  
"I love you too, Regina!" he cried out as the tree collapsed with him beneath it.   
  
A small smile graced Emma's lips, aiming it at Regina.  Brown eyes stared hard at the blonde.  "Let's get home before you cause anymore trouble today," she ordered, sounding heavily annoyed.   
  
Emma looked down at her chest before nodding in agreement.  "Yeah, heaven forbid a breeze comes through."

**Author's Note:**

> P.S. I was heavily medicated while writing this. I’m so sorry. Please don’t kill me.


End file.
